Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Review, Carmignani's Cedar City, UT

How I felt after eating at Carmignani's in Cedar City.
Carmignani's is a recent addition to the restaurant scene in Cedar City, Utah.  Advertised as Italian/American, my family and I were excited to try a new place.  Generally, when restaurants first open the crew is excited and well-trained and the food is excellent.  Not at Carmignani's!  They truly broke the mold.

We entered the restaurant at 12:30 in the afternoon, and were the only customers there.  A bad omen.  The place was FREEZING, the workers were visibly cold.  Clearly the move of a manager trying to pinch pennies by turning off the heat.  The workers were just hanging around a table reading the paper. The decor was early 90s.

I could have railed on this eatery without ever eating there, just walking in was unpleasant.

We order soup, salad, a hamburger, fries, garlic bread and a Diet Coke.  But wait, their soda machine is out of order, all they have is lemonade.  Dang, I guess we'll all just have water while we wait a good 30 minutes for our food in a deserted restaurant that would better be used as a meat locker.

I look over at the cook.  He looks new, brand new... as in never cooked before new.  And, he has the sniffles.  And, he isn't wearing gloves, And, he keeps wiping his nose with his hands. Gahhhh!

Our food comes out.  The hamburger isn't really a hamburger, but an oblate spheroid shaped piece of ground beef, about an inch thick and a little over an inch in diameter.  Really, it was the shape and size of a semi-squashed meat ball.  Actually, I would have preferred a meatball on a bun because meatballs usually have some flavor.  The patty was straight ground beef, no spices, not really formed into a patty, very small, and formed by a cook with a runny nose.  I marvel that a hamburger could be screwed up so bad.  Even though my wife and I were starving, we could only choke down a couple bites.

I look over at the garlic bread.  Finally, something impossible to ruin!  You could drench old 3.5" floppy disks in garlic butter and it would taste good.  That is, unless it was stale.  In that case it would be gross.  How can Carmignani's serve nasty stale garlic bread at 12:30 in the afternoon?  If it had been frozen, like what we buy from Wal-Mart, and heated then it would have tasted pretty good.  I like Pepperage Farm's garlic bread.  This was far worse than from frozen, this was like poorly made two days ago, frozen improperly, and reheated to the most unpleasant texture between bread in dirty water and a crouton.

We entered Carmignani's starving, we left Carmignani's starving and cold and worried about our health.  In short: it was a complete crap-shoot, akin to dining with the Donner party.  It was so bad, I have taken the great effort to get them added to Urban Spoon, my favorite restaurant review website, just so that I could warn people not to go there.

Carmignani's on Urbanspoon


  1. I haven't eaten there, but there has been a string of unsuccessful restaurants in that space. I must say I was a little surprised to see that you "liked" it on Facebook, but now it all makes sense. Sorry you had that experience!

  2. Sounds awful. I'm glad you put them on urbanspoon to make your voice heard.